He Had it Coming.......He Only had himself to Blame

My new favorite thing is the musical we know as CHicago. I don't know why i love show tunes more than a gay man in nylon stockings. It's just so god damn good. I mean, I learned to love all that shit back in the 80's when i'd sing and dance to Annie in the kitchen. I'd slide around the floor and throw the mops around, while wishing my mom was drunk in a bathtub. Someone didn't have to wish all that hard, though. But regardless, I pretended to be Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors. I'd pretend my dentist boyfriend would beat the crap out of my face. I'd want terrible things to happen to me, if only i were the heroes that i'd emulate during my little games of pretend. I used to wish that I was a poor idiot from the wrong side of London who'd get some lingual asshole to teach them how to be civilized, who'd teach them how to charm everyone who'd think they were better. I wished I could wear dresses to the race track. And I'd dream about tricking an entire town into buying my invention of a self ass kicker. Everyone would try to hire me, and love me, and want to dance around the stage with me.
Roney is drunk.....she's so drunk right now.......and on beer....imagine that!!!! Ronell, drunk from beer? What could that be about? And she love show tunes......

I don't really know what I should write about. I'm just watching my fingers float around the keyboard like they're some sort of spider walkers.....I want to smoke a cigarrette, and talk to my friends....call my people, and try to contact the spirits. I was born in California. Who was born in California? Who's going to burn California when the patriots come to town?

I want to eat olives from my fingers, i want to knock on my grandma's door and have her invite me inside, i want to ask for a doll for christmas and get it, i want to sneak into my brother's room and have him ride his bike into the alley with me, i want to squeeze a lemon into the priest's eye, i want to sing my songs for my cousins at christmas, i want to be what everyone used to think she was.......

but my grandma is dead, and my brother is married......and now i'm expected to buy gifts for christmas. Because i'm a grown up now...i'm supposed to be the bigshot now. I went to college, and why aren't I the success i'm supposed to be? i just want to sleep, after drinking 6 beers. She's a loser now....she's a nothing......she's a baby doll gone sour. Death to Roni, death to roni............death to that god damn stupid bitch....burn baby burn......burn, motherfucker, burn.............