Two Ass, One Puntang

That bastard laughed his ass off at the mere mentioning of the sound of Puntang. "It's PUTang, yew idiot", his uncle yelled from across the table. It's funny when the words of Uncle Chazzy reverb lewdness throughout the park. Sitting at a picnic table provides the least amount of back support, and this hunched over, hillbilly positioning makes the words "it's PuuuuuTang, youuuuu eediot" ring like a crystalline bell on velvet. He slouches closer to his audience, your boyfriend and his two roommates, as he eyes the truck's window, "don't tell the old woman I told you this, but the way i first learned about the true meaning of Putang was in my first week in Haiphong. My buddy who i had known maybe 2 weeks before i was put on that plane, had a bit of a brain deficiency. I don't know, he was retarded or something. Honestly, i didn't think it was legal to send retards to the war, but i guess they were short of hands, or something like that. So basically, i let him follow me around mostly because i felt sorry for this poor son of a bitch. So I lost track of him after the first few days there, until we were maybe in week 9. I saw him in a local pharmacy covered in layers of those bullshit silk coverall bitch shit, and i pulled them off his head. I was mad because i was thinking this retard wasn't no retard at all, that he was actually just playing retarded so that he could ditch his duties and go fooling around in these towns. His eyes were bloodshot, and he grabbed my arm and told me that he had something to show me. The way he snarled, i just followed his pull up the steps leading to a small hut. He led me inside where I saw this old, man kneeling beside this cunt who was maybe about 13 or 14. When i try and remember, i don't think she had even got her hair yet, son. And this guy, with his beard all up in her shit, he didn't look right either. His eyes were something. Anyway, the whole point of my story kids is that when my retard buddy came in and threw the bag onto the bed, another young girl crawled in from behind a dusty crate. Her eyes, too, were bloodshot and as placed one hand on her breast and the other on the retard, she said, "Watashi wa nihon kara haifongu e ikimashta. Chichi o hanate kudasai, watashi no chichi no onamae wa Furukawa san. Ochiya o nomu mashiyo, Itsushiyo ni shimashio ka? Ie, ii desne.""
Kono onna wa takute mo ii desu. Nichi yobini watashi no uchi e irukoto ga dekimaska. Doshite, nihongo o hanatsu koto ga dekirundeska. Ikimashio. Sono hanashi wa zenzen omoshiro ku arimasen. Iidesne? Haha.