I am 27 years old. Shouldn't I have reached the age where I no longer feel like I did when I was 14. First days at Notre Dame HS, timid and scared. Shy around everyone. Trying so hard. And what about 18 and Cloyne Court? I even had Rebecca there with me, yet same thing. I remember pausing behind my doorknob before leaving, breathing in for some air, air that fed the nervous lungs, and stomach and eye that led me outside among the other ones. I feel like that when i do everything still.
I wonder if this is constantly feeding on me, and has kept a steady pace along the years. Is this why it cannot be outgrown? In solitude it keeps still, but i think solitude is only for those people who haven't those stories that you just need to tell.
