yuck

Last night I dreamt that Fatty was found out. Why? I don't know. But i woke up on my stomach, with my hands crossed and my arms numb. I wasn't hearing my alarm, and i had little balance when i jumped to my feet. Okay, i didn't really jump. I guess I sort of rolled and stood up, at a somewhat swift speed.

Dream for Fatty

For a very long time now, I feel like I had little control over both my weaknesses and desires. Technically, i could classify my desires as a weakness in the whole Buddhist sense of thought, but I see them a little differently. I desire objects and situations that I have never even attempted to truly achieve, and in result it brought upon obsession and heartache. My dream for fatty is to sort through every subdivision of desire, and find the ones with the lowest and biggest branches so that I can find the best way to climb up my tree. I know that there is no objective path to clarity and happiness. And as far as I am concerned there is little congruency between the two. My personal goal

New Name for a New Game

I decided to change my URL for the following reasons:
1) My wish to heighten security upon my feelings. I believe that if I have less of the already small audience that i already had, I might find it easier to be a little more honest. Of course, I always had my drafts, but you see, I'd like to flirt with the edge. I like to keep the possibility open that I might be found out.
2) I am changing the direction of my postings. I have noticed that alot of my angry posts are not really to the invisible "you", but really to myself. I've begun a new path where I am seeking to learn of my potential. I have been very weak in the past, and I am working to change that in every aspect that I can recognize. The main area of this fight is with my image. I am working to change how i view myself and my self worth, and these are my dreams for fatty.
3)I needed some alone time.

Year of the Rabbit

Innocence does not allow u-turns. ---facecious, the fortune cookie

There's this story that my mom likes to tell. It involves our pet rabbit, nameless. Well, i don't remember his name, because im not sure whether i really cared. I wish i could find the old albums with the picture of me locked in his cage, crying. Well, unbeknownst to me, we ate him for dinner one night. I was told the next day. I was told that it didn't phase me. Perhaps, because i didn't understand death or, rather, mental cruelty.
My favorite time to tell this story is right after my mother tells her favorite story of how she taught the lesson of curiosity vs. the cat. She runs through how i went on and on about how i was a rabbit, and how i wished to live in my rabbit's cage. So, to teach the lesson on why one should never wish to be something that they are not, she approaches me, playing in the cage. "So you wanna be a rabbit?" "Yes." "I can make you a rabbit" "Really?" "Ya, here you go, now you're a rabbit." Meanwhile, locking up the cage and running into the house.
And sure enough, i react like a big, scared baby. I cry.
"Mommy, mommy, i don't want to be a rabbit anymore." "I'm not a rabbit, i'm a girl, i'm a GIRL!!!!"
Oh, i know what yr thinking....fuckin' halarious. Ya, i know. And that's why i almost consider having children.

i h**e the clever ones cuz i suspect foul and false play. So funny, So fine,
you'll be old in no time. once they catch u in their teeth, once they behold yr fancy things, you'll be old in no time. i was told that all you need is love, but all they had were drugs and i don't see no love around here.
if i destroyed, then fine.....
i want back all that is mine:
poprocks, angel hair and fool's gold.

I byte

What i do at work.

My Horoscope makes me Sad

This influence signifies a time of severe testing in your relationships with others. The demands of your work or the demands of your personal life will force you to reevaluate which relationships in your life are worth keeping and which are not. If you do not face this challenge consciously, the pressure of events will force you to do so, because people who have been with you for a long time will leave against your wishes.
There is often a strong tendency to build a wall between you and others without even realizing it. The only way you will know is that suddenly you will feel alone and out of touch with everybody. You may feel that you have no support from others, even loved ones whom you have counted on in the past for love and support. This may represent a temporary state of affairs or a passing mood. Or it may represent a serious breakdown in your relationships because of misplaced priorities in the past or because of associating with people who were wrong for you in terms of your personal goals and needs.


In the case of misplaced priorities, perhaps you have paid more attention to getting ahead in life than to giving and receiving love. Or perhaps in the past, fear of your own inadequacies or fear that you are unlovable has made you withdraw from others. Now the consequences of these problems are emerging, causing you to feel alone.

In the second case, the problem is that in terms of your direction in life, the people you associate with are a distraction or are actually opposed to your interests. In this case, no matter how much you love them, walls will form between you and them, and you will have to begin a new life without them.

With this influence several significant relationships will inevitably end. But if you have a clear idea of where you are going, this will not be a great disadvantage. Whatever remorse you feel will be quickly displaced by a new sense of freedom, because you are no longer wasting energy in trying to maintain inappropriate relationships.



The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Saturn Square Ascendant