I'm my own Girl

and i ain'ts got to listen to what you say. You're a bluebird, with chicken wings.
i ain't gots to care that yr feets too big.
My granmammy wants me to tell you something different, for her, for WW2.
She's got brothers all over this mother fucker.
She's gots brothers in the grave. Cuz a her.
And i ain't even lyin.
He cried when she left. Like me.
The only two or three, if you count em.
Partners in crime aint shit these days.
They ain't even nothing.
Nothin
No thang but the O-thang.

My wings do Cry, on some days

Pardon me, with craft, superstore
Something something is what's in store
for tu
para mi
para su.
One eight five, is alive..........
gonna realize it then,
so sad
so late
so uncontrollably blatant.
Yr a sore on my nose on my bloody, bloody nose.
Fifth grade, too late, 11th made me upstate.
And straight
till you princess car, mistake.
Once, twice...i still wallow in yr wake.
Princess car. Toyoto rojo. Listo, esperando.

Everything But the Ghost

He's a silent marker, I do say.
Yellow, pelado. No se que significa pelado. No pelo, problamente.
But from there I go here,
into another definite heliosphere.
Bakersfield, Smallville, dude...
My dad called. You know the connection, dontcha babe?
If you don't yr not a real friend to me, hey?
No, but not really, not really.
Say it loud if you mean it. I can't help my control, it's demanding.
It's outstanding. It's revolting?
Though, isn't it?
I remember those cousins so vividly.
So remarkably, fantabully. I was there all alone, didn't wanna be,
but you made me be, cuz yr family.
If a giving for thanks I might longingly
counter doggingly.
Couldn't any remark be a TsukarEi, fucking mon ami.......

Something funny

As i was looking at my tracker thingy, i noticed a link from the Pentagon. I was like....oh okay, that's fun. So i look to see where they were linked from, and it came from google search engine. Seriously, what is up with people and their obsession with the Jamie Lee Curtis hermaphodite thing? Maybe i should ask myself. Maybe i will.......

Fuckin' Twenty Four Hours

How am i supposed to do things like stare into space, trim my nails, snoop daily, and make up for my dirty habits when there are only fuckin' twenty four hours? I can't give up my last 7 hours of sleep. I need that time to solve the riddle of the apocalypse. Last night, i felt i was curiously close. Will you tell me how you solved your dealings with the time-space continuum? I only need a hint.

Frater

I used to be a road runner in second grade. That was the both the year I ran into a pole and lost consciousness for the first time and then realized that I was much too old to have "accidents" at school. I hid in the stall for about an hour after the lunch bell rang. I'm not sure if somehow the two incidents were related in any way. I was eventually brought into the school office for it is a true shame to walk around in wet clothes. Somehow I convinced the administration to let me go into my brother's pre-school class and hang out there for the rest of the day. It was naptime when i entered and my brother was asleep on my cat blanket, or it was mine at some point in time. I had on someone else's clothes and i was deliriously tired. I squished next to him and he put his arm around me, and i felt okay. I never really understood how he was always better at comforting me than i was at comforting him. We never really talked about that.

2 Reasons to Miss NoHo *a shameless shoutout*

Moto Malo

Deviation Smack

I shouldn't be here, at my computer, writing bullshit. I should be writing other bullshit set on a deadline. I should be expressing my opinions on what I think of the differences between British and American schools and their focused emphasis on curriculum. I spent my last few hours raking up my brain cells into a small pile which I raped and plundered. I forced them to do my Japanese homework. Originally, I had considered my option to slam the jagged edge of my book into the same spot on my head over and over until it created a red, wet hole. I figured if i dripped some of the wetness onto my homework worksheet and formed it into katakana representations of Shiguenza-san, that I'd truly feel accomplishment. I thought about my walk down the stairs of Dwinnelle, still dizzy yet clutching the papers with a Scarface-esque death shadow. The kids would avert their eyes, while i smiled, eyes closed and head bobbing. I considered how the others would react when i opened my folder and tore out the pages one by one, mumbling. Everyone would clearly see that my assignment was atop the folder, covered in brownish-red dryness. Shiyukodai, bah.

Vestigious

I don't remember how it used to go. I don't want to remember

It's barely 2000, baby.

Are you as excited as me? I swam today. Are you as excited as me? I've learned the difference between facination and make-believe, and demonstrated it poorly. I'm going to bet that things are going to change in my favor and out of yours. I'm not going to hurt you, though, the way you hurt me. I'm a gentle deceiver. Part of the benefits of these things are the fun things we've done, are doing and will do. Let's dance to the ghosts we saw in the smoke. I'll let you lead, that is, until i feel that i can do better. Isn't that the lesson you always wanted me to learn?

And that ain't angry, sweetness, it is honesty.

Three things someone smart told me

No one really listens to the things that someone smart sometimes says. She said that anger is just big disappointment and small sorrow. She said that jealousy's just fear angry with self doubt. She said these things don't make love. She has solved my anguish, but left me with something scarier. I'm imagining ants walking on my limbs, in my hair. So i'm not angry anymore, i'm not jealous either, instead i imagine ants.

Our Parallel Universe

On my side of the fence, I chose Cohen with greens. You, Cash and fries. You're still making bets with yourself, while i keep my money on the pass line. And while you made yours with chain link and ivory, i just drew a line. You climb on your gate every afternoon and sing. I can hear you from my bedroom airduct. I don't cross my lines anymore because I cannot. I threw all our strange skeletons to keep up my fright. I also threw in my copy of Poltergeist. That means business, love. Don't you just know it? Part of every coincidence is still in my memory. With you, there's another me that we all can remember. While with me, only marsh with musik and a setting sun.

And while drinking Gin, no less.......

I've been wanting to get back into this, and try to digress from the nonsense I tend to write. I planned on a quiet Friday, studying so I can play tomorrow night. Instead, i broke into my liquor cabinet and revamped my blogger. I still want to put up some musik links, so i'm procrasting it's Debutante party till then, much like i've procrasted on getting more important shit done. I'd like procrast to be an acceptable term.
The tonic in my blood is suggesting that this post is not much of a stray away from my usual unnecessary tangents. I live by the freeway, close to where the 24 junctions into the 880. I heard a nasty accident. I hope it wasn't you.
I didn't really want to sit here for 20 more minutes typing up another drunken post that I'd regret in the morning, however, since i'm feeling good, i'll continue. You see, i like the colors of my new format, only i feel the sidebars need to be enlarged so it fits better in the page. Look around, what do you think? I'm right, right? Right.
I also thought about the links quite a bit. I thought about how i only have around 5 friends. Yes, yes, i counted you for my acquaintences don't read this, thus i don't write to them. Yes, i counted you. More than half of my 5 friends do not have websites, or weblogs, or things of that nature, so i thought i'd link to myspace pages. Don't be mistaken, my one-fifth, i'm not trying to give any impressions of having a big long list of friends. Like i said, five. I just wanted to include them here. As for the few links to blogs of those whom I rarely, if at all speak to, I saw their inclusion as an admittance to the fact that i read and enjoy their writing. That's a good thing. Right? Right again, fifth-y.
Another thing that I can describe well is my excitement surrounding the return of Daily Snoopings. You see, it sure is great to enter and snoop within a home with a secret key, however, it's not quite as invigorating as writing the follow-up. Maybe it's that English-major thing in me, but who really cares, only i love it. Like swimming in raw sewage. See, that's a joke for dorks. Do you get it? I bet you do. I was at a Birthday party on Thursday, where i began to describe my reacquaintance with the snooping to a young man named Rob. I began to talk about anal beads, and well, i was the life of the party. Not really, but i was happy. I've been happy alot these days. You should be happy for me. Oh, and i'm not just saying that because of the booze, it's true.
One last thing, these are going to be much more forward and honest. I miss honesty. I vaguely remember that it used to get me what i wanted. But i don't want anything from you, I promise. Keep well.

I dream sometimes

i don't want any more of my airplane dreams. Go away. Shoo. there's no need for you anymore. i'm done with impending doom. my mom, sister and i lived under our house, bad things were going on and she was really angry. I was scared but couldn't find the way out. There may have been an earthquake, it may have been war. And 3 nights ago, i was in a field with planes hovering. It looked like March Air Force Base. These dreams are too frequent, i want them done. Again, shoo fly don't bother me.

Motherfucking Fuck

What's with everyone taking their shit off the air. I lose contact with the internet for a few weeks, and everyone's gone hiding and shit. That shit ain't right, i ain't clever enough to find you foolios. Motherfucking fuck i'm tired. Go to sleep, Ronell.

Conversations

Watashi wa Sherin El-Antably. God, I want to take Portuguese. I gotta slow my role, girl. What about the dude? The new one, i mean. So what are we doing tonight? Apparently there is a party, but i can't go. I've gotta work tomorrow at 8. I can't show up like a drunken sailor. What i'd have to do is leave my house with no money, no ATM card, nothing. With the Bizzle double Izzle. Bounce. I don't want to go to the fucking Bull today. I wouldn't mind some Yayo. I've been Jones'ing for that shit. She said it would be an embarrassment. Is he arabic. I think he's African, chocolate. BuraBura, it means hanging testicles. She doesn't mess with the Chocolates. I think he was just a white black man, it's really unfortunate. You're Egyptian, you nubian. And she can't be too ghetto. Can she have gold teeth? Where's your gold tooth. Just wait baby, let me take my tooth out. Melt it down and make their own tooth. This my granmamma tooth. They got some hideous grills down there. Why would he lie about it? Why didn't you ever break anybody off back on Vernon? Coconut shimp rice. I love spicy. I tried to change the sheets, but that woman hit me. Cashing in on my bank account, paying some child support. The only reason you wouldn't have a kid is because you don't want to support it? Moko.....(long laugh)Today at work, i saw the most flaming Eurotrash, his eyelashes were curled and he smelled like basura. Ohhhh, Ohhhh, ssssshhh.