I guess my stupid birthday didn't really help me figure anything out. I mean seriously, how could a day, a very hot day in the middle of july really help solve anything good. After i write this, i'm going to go back to last year's post around this day. Maybe i have made some sort a progress but it is unrecognizable in the present moment. But i don't want progress. All that bullshit implies is moving forward, learning from and about mistakes, finding out what's what in yr head. I don't want that. Ya, i don't want progress. I want regress. I want you to walk me counter clockwise, baby. It's not like in the TV shows, where the semi-main character has an approaching birthday of remarkable status. Like 50 or 40 or 30.
ANd anyway, we all hate those subplots, they are so boring and unpleasant to think about. Who cares about old people? Maybe that's what i'm saying. ANyway, It's not like that at all. I don't care about my physical age. I don't care about all the things i haven't and probably never will accomplish. I don't care that it appears increasingly creepy to sleep with boys in their late teens. Just kidding, i haven't done that in years. But do you see how defensively quick I covered that up? Well, whatever, it was a joke, and besides my point was that i don't care. I really don't. I don't want a good job with health benefits. I don't want prominence. I don't want that kind of power. At least not right now. At least not on my slippery decline into age 30. I just don't want to bore myself senseless.
The point? There isn't one, and even if there were, I wouldn't spell it out for anybody, least of all myself. I'm gonna be like Frankenfurter. I'm gonna learn to control lightning and time warps. I'm mad with excitement.
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