Monday, August 08, 2005

Que significa "countdown"?

I can tell you. It's the moment when everything feels a little fuzzy, like the screen of a television set on the back of your neck. I'm not really all that excited. It's not like i'm going to the moon. I wish i were going to the moon. At least that way i'd fuck up some atmosphere and shit. I saw a kittle like Carbon. They tried to give him to me. I wanted him so bad, but I said no. I do that alot. It's been called a "tendency". Que significa "tendency"?
I can tell you. It's that no-good memory of yours which files away the memories of moments where once you felt uneasy, and after your reaction to your feelings, you felt easy. The reaction to your action is the stickiest bullshit in there. In that dirty little head of yours. Dirty, Dirty, sticky, Dirty. I'm not going to pretend to be like you even when i am. You don't know, though, do you? I don't have to make complete sentences if i don't want to. I don't have to be linear for you if i don't want to. Yr too "linear". Que significa "linear"?
I can tell you. Remember games like Clue and Battleship? Well if y're good at games like that, then i'd call you linear. What is the name of that game where you put the five coloured pegs in an arranged order---NEVERMIND. MASTERMIND. Fuck ya.
You don't like when i talk like this. If i stop you, and turn you, and make you wait, flip you and bring you right back to the start...well, you don't like that. And that's why i say, babe, y're too linear. First person prose makes you feel uncomfortably childish. Childishness makes you shudder under the incommodious rush of last minute details. I can't stack neatly. I can't color code. I can't prove anything. It's easy to call me stupid. It's easy to call me madwoman. And though perhaps, i'm too easy---well, yr too easy, too. Two toos in one line. Call me classy.

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