Remind me of Moon

Interesting enough, that I needed Subrosa last night. I felt so awful, and for no reason at all. Curious enough to say the the last post I wrote was almost exactly a month ago, last time I was emotional and insecure. Need I even mention one additional sidenote that yesterday began my angry flow. Can I be any more predictable? Can I have any more resemblance to such a boring friend in the sky. I've heard alot of beautiful praises sent to the moon, but how about the annoying negatives?
How about the fact that it is something that you cannot escape? Should you fight with the moon, or break up with the moon, well how can you recover with its refusing presence? How selfish to stay!
How about the fact that you see the same faces again and again? It grows, and with it, you do too....happy and full, crazy and big and bright, bringing everyone out to play, only to sink down and deflate and darken humanity's spark, ruining the party with absence a mere moon moments later? How is it anyone can bear to undergo the cycles again and again, ceaselessly repeating? The sheer monotomy makes me bury my head in the ground.

And that is how I feel. I feel annoying and meddlesome. While only trying to help, keeping time and keeping stability, all anyone really desires is the disruption of these things. All I want is a disruption from these things.

I constantly think I have figured out a new way to change things. Only to be fooled again into another cycle. I feel like I'm purposely picking the same "new ideas" to follow because I inherently fear the change a true new idea might make. And how lame is that? Wimpy, predicable and pathetic. Why can I never make up my mind? And when I try, it is only knowing "No, i know i do NOT want this."....it is never feeling "Yes, i know THIS is what I want." What do I do? Why am I so influenced by meaningless Details? Oh my goodness, i wanna shout!