Who gives a shit about what I've spent my week looking forward to? A night with Pacificos on the pull out couch? Maybe a Friday out to the movies? Perhaps a swirly drive down the mountain where my head won't hurt and my lungs won't feel like a freezer bag? Or perhaps its a chainsmoking evening on the porch kicking my dog's head. I don't know why Friday seems like such a big deal, like something oh so fun to look forward to. Only for some psycho reason, it seems like a little jewel at the end of the race. It seems like the little baby's pacifier.
All I wanted to do after work was as follows: call my friend in portugal, have a couple of glasses of wine, go see Anchorman, and then vegetate while reading my other friend's book. Well, I saw Anchorman, and now i'm drinking beer (aka. the killer of self esteem and motivation, or maybe it's the mother of the two....i always forget) REgardless...I'm losing in all my games of scrabble.....people use all their fucking letters, Anchorman wasn't as good as i wanted it to be, my calling card being a fucking cheap ass thing, and my dog growling at my feet.....
The only thing that keeps everything so fresh and fun is my willingness to revel in such pathetic existence. Ya sure, I may even think that i'm exaggerating, except for I have the memory of the two hours I just wasted watching the remake of Freaky Friday with the fucking hermaphodite. Wait a second, is it Jamie Lee Curtis or Jodie Foster who harbors a penis? Well, i guess that is one of life's greatest questions that will never be answered. The saddest part of this story is that the made for 13 y.o. retards of a movie was actually making me laugh. Well, like when Curtis' character pretends like she's going to hit her son. And when she calls him an idiot and he looks like he's about to cry. I don't know why but both child and animal abuse really really entertain me. For instance, i don't think i was able to breathe during Anchorman when Jack black kicks the dog off the bridge. It reminded me of that halarious story back in 2000 when some guy threw this old lady's bichon frise onto freeway traffic. My god, the halarity.
Anyway, i know there's alot of people out there who "love" animals, but come on, it's like that time my very very funny friend started singing that song "if yr happy and you know it, abuse a child".....ALRIGHT, i'll stop with the abuse jokes. Sure, some people don't "get" things.
What the hell am i even talking about? Who are these people? Are you one of them? Well, goddamn it, answer me....ARE YOU?
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